Running from Shadows

One of the teachers at school approached me at the end of the day.  We sat at a picnic table, backs to the bench, overlooking the rugby field at school.  The warmth of the sun was still being soaked up by the northern hemisphere and we sat side by side allowing the cold of the aluminum seat to leech through our clothes to absorb what warmth we might have generated throughout the day.  I sat with arms crossed, chin pushed into my scarf-filled collar breathing warmth into my neck while Kevin gave a running description of what was occurring during the game.  Rugby can be fascinating, but it was difficult to concentrate that day. 

After a few moments of undisguised discomfort, Kevin turned to me.  He pointed to one of our school rugby players and said, "I've got some really talented nephews who are like those boys."

"Yes?" my muffled voice was filtered through the purple scarf.

He nodded his head enthusiastically.  "They're quick.  Really quick.  Because of their speed, they are being recruited by professional teams already."

"Fantastic," I replied still lost in the wool.

"I've got a funny story about the youngest one.  He was playing a game a few weeks ago, one of the first in which he was being scouted, and he stole the ball from the opposing team and started to run towards his goal."

"Mmmm hmmm."  I turned towards him noticing his passion for the game and his smile which beamed in spite of the chill.

"I've already mentioned how fast he is, so as he is running, he is outdistancing the other team by a wide margin.  He could have stopped thirty meters short of the goal and walked in for a try, but he continued to sprint right up until the goal line where he flopped between the goalposts."

"Isn't that what you are supposed to do?" I asked.

"Sure, but when you are that fast and that far ahead, you can probably slow down a little bit."

"Okay."

"That's not the funny part.  After the game I asked him why he kept running so hard to the goal and he said, 'As I was running, I kept hearing the noise of pursuit and I turned a little bit and I saw that there was someone behind me, but it wasn't till I had actually scored the try when I realized that the pursuit was so far behind me and...'"

"And," I said, knowing that he was drawing this out for dramatic effect.

"And... I realized that I was trying to outrun my shadow."  Kevin slapped my shoulder and laughed.  "He hadn't played under the lights before and as the light was in front of him, he looked back and the flash of his own shadow urged him forward." 

Good story.

Perhaps we all do that.  As Christians, striving to keep our eyes set and firmly fixed on the Light of the World, we glance back sometimes and recognize the shadow that we are casting.  It's easy to let that darkness motivate us; it's a frightening thing what shadows can do.  We can make them out into all sorts of boogey men; we can see in them many things that aren't there, but in essence, they are just an outline of who we are in deference to who the Light is. 

Knowing there is a perpetual shadow can be a scary thing.

In class the other day, we were discussing social justice versus selfish justice and as we walked the well-trodden road of poverty, I brought up that a 'gentleman' once told me that 'poverty occurs in countries where they breed like rabbits.  It's not our job to help them.  They need some kind of control - birth control, or get them jobs so they stop breeding all the time.'  This is a paraphrase of the colorful language this man used, but my jaw dropped nonetheless.  So I mentioned this comment in my Religion and Ethics class and asked them how they would respond.

After a long pause, one student responded, "I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion."

There, my friends, is the shadow of the contemporary western world.  The light that shines on our faces outlines the darkness that is silhouetted in our hearts.  Our utter addiction to the justification of selfishness with regards to 'freedom of speech.'  Entitlement to our own words, no matter how hurtful; The 'right' to offend as some kind of guarantee for pseudo-progressive society.  Everyone's opinion is equally valid even if offensive beyond measure because the greatest sin of a contemporary society seems to be censorship.

In fact, if we dig a little deeper into the shadow that races after us, we find that the word 'sin' is meaningless.  Forget, for a moment, the foray into the politics of contemporary issues of marriage, the willful sins of pride, envy, sloth, greed (you know what I'm talking about) are not vices but socially glorified acceptable behaviors. 

The dark, shadowed fruits of the human spirit.  Opposite of peace, patience, kindness, (you know what I'm talking about) self-control, and we no longer run from them but we embrace them and say, "I'm working on them.  I'm visiting my counselor and she is giving me a strategy to live with those 'issues.'"  Talking through them with a counselor is a great idea, helpful, for sure, but the great tragedy of our time is that the scriptures actually speak about the cure for this Balrog that we keep summoning from the pit.  In the book of Mark, they are Jesus' first words:

'The time has come,' he said, 'The kingdom of God has come near.  Repent and believe the good news.'         (Mark 1:15)

Jesus first words to the shadowed world are an explosion of light into the darkness.  The kingdom has approached - it's a moving thing!  It's not a static, far away land that is only the stuff of imagination and DreamWorks, it is hear right now in front of you and it moves and breathes and you can catch it if you stop turning back to look at your shadow!  Repent!  Recognize that the reason and purpose for your shadow is you (plural). Y'all, in Southern speak. 

The entire existence of a shadow is dependent upon the light and we who get in the way of the light.  Turn around, Jesus says. 

And believe. 

So our addiction to free speech, and free will, and freedom to selfishness has come with a dark shadow.  Instead of standing up for those who are disadvantaged, we say, "Their opinion is valid because it is their own," and we leave the marginalized in the lurch gazing after our shadow as we run past.  We, as a community of believers who stand strong in the promise of the Word, God's light into a darkened world, are called to repent, believe and then to act - act in a way that is cognizant of the fact that when we are baptized into Christ's death we are also baptized into his resurrection and then it is no longer we who live, but Christ who lives in us...

And the shadow disappears.

Surely, it is not that easy.  We make multiple mistakes along the way and our 'freedoms' - which in reality can become chains - become idols which need to be torn down at various times.  But the more I read Jesus words, I am convinced the more often I turn back to him, I will see the kingdom at hand.