My Precious

Article in the August addition of the Lutheran magazine that won the silver award for most humorous item in the Australasian Religious Press Awards.

There are three things in Australia that I have learned not to poke fun at:

1.       Vegemite

2.       Slim Dusty

3.       Cricket

It’s very easy to ridicule Vegemite because it tastes like someone scraped an oil pan of a rusted out old ute, but I promised Christine that I wouldn’t make fun of it.

I don’t know much about the country singer Slim Dusty, but the songs that I’ve heard sound, well… different.  Because my musical tastes bend at a different angle, Slim scratches my eardrums like a wandering alleycat, but I promised Christine that I wouldn’t make fun of his sound.

Cricket makes little sense and even for a baseball fan like myself that can watch nine innings of one hit ball, I can’t understand how one person can bat for a whole day and be rewarded for hitting foul balls while the rest of his team sits in the stands wearing cardigan sweaters while putting white sunscreen on their lips and noses.  I didn’t promise Christine that I wouldn’t make fun of cricket, though.

Most Australians would all rejoice at being young and free to eat Vegemite while listening to Slim Dusty duel a tabby on the prowl during a cricket match that last forty-two hours, while two people have batted and they’ve had nineteen breaks for tea.  These three things are precious to them, I think, and as I soak into the Australian culture, I begin to appreciate them even if I don’t understand them.

It happens in churches, too. 

There are some precious things in Lutheran Churches that ‘outsiders’ don’t understand either.  I’ve heard these before:

1.       Why are people singing with an organ?  Do they listen to organ music on their iPods?

2.       Why does the pastor wear a dress to church?

3.       What’s with the word ‘Alleluia?’  I thought it was a happy word?

4.       Why do people who read the lessons sound like they are reading from an Economics text book? 

5.       Why do we have to confess our sins every week?  Doesn’t God already know what’s going on?  No use bringing it up again.

Often, when some of these ‘precious’ things are discussed, there is a tendency to be defensive, but usually I would guess we just do some things in church because we’ve always done them and we’ve forgotten exactly why.  Perhaps there should be some discussion about the purpose of music, the history of teaching the faith through sound.  Maybe we could remind the congregation that a pastor’s clothes should not distract from the service – the stole is a yoking to God.  We should be shouting the ‘Alleluia’ at the top of our voices and reading the Bible should be an expression of wonder.  Confession is not for God’s sake, but for ours.

Maybe we just need to be reminded why we do what we do and why that makes them special. 

P. S.  Christine doesn’t like Slim Dusty’s music either.